CALIFORNIA

monday, june 24, 2013

DAY 3

in order to get his allotted classes in on time, ryan had taken some very intense classes this summer.  today started another such class.  

classroom time was from 8-11:30 a.m.  

the rest of his day was spent reading.  

SO much reading.  

jenni and i had a long leisure morning of talking and 

looking at all her wonderful cards she received during her hospital stay. 

after class, ryan borrowed a friend's bike for me to ride.  

he so kindly greased and tightened parts....and aired the tires....   

and took a couple pictures of us

before  we were off to target.  :)

i followed the one who knew the way.  :)

i don't think i had ever passed by this campus avenue without exclaiming how beautiful it was!

i told jenni i needed a picture of her.  

 here. 

 :)

on we rode...toward famous colorado blvd....

only a couple blocks from their apartment.  

what a wonderful location they live in!  <3

i liked the hawaiian flowers painted on this street.  

passing lots of sidewalk dining.....

and....arriving at our destination.

  

i can now take "riding bike to target"  off my bucket list:  

 :)

and...of course.....

more photos for memories sake.  

these would have to last me for quite a while!  

we locked our bikes.....  

yet another new experience for me!  :)

(bare with me...but it's all uncharted ground.  and exciting!   

we mosied around in the store having fun.

we tried out some chairs......

because we felt like sitting.  ;)

it's really critical that jenni eats on schedule.

i knew it was getting late

so i got a personal pan pizza.

we sat outside and shared it before riding home.  

within a couple blocks, 

i saw jenni slow down and then stop.

apparently, she KNEW she didn't feel right.  

as i pulled up beside her, i asked if she was OK?

immediately, i saw something was wrong.

i tried to hold her....but her dead weight slumped gradually to the ground....

her legs tangled underneath her bike.  

i hurriedly parked my bike

and lifted her bike off her.

i held her and assured her she was OK...

 for what seemed a lot longer than the minutes it actually was.

these mini seizures leave her extremely frightened and anxious  

when she comes out of them. 

she tells me that her brain wants to just get out of the "place" she's in.  :(

she ALWAYS wants to run 

 from where she's at

whenever this happens.  

she insisted on going home. 

 immediately.

i insisted that we sit and rest for awhile. 

she angrily said, "i just wanna go home!"
  

i can't imagine the frustration and anger she feels

in battling this horrible disease of epilepsy!  

after a short while,

she thought she could ride home.

i was hoping. 

she's a trooper!

i'm sure, for my benefit, she stopped by the campus prayer chapel

when i noticed how beautiful it was.  <3

or....

perhaps she knew she needed  prayer.  

we parked our bikes and walked into the solace.  

as i walked around, i prayed out loud the fitting prayers on the wall over my sweet jenni.....

my dear one,  who was SO hurting at this moment.  

once again..... broken in spirit

 once again.....hope deferred.    

how i ache with her!  and grieve!  

my jenni.....

who continues to smile

and

trudge on

in this bottomless pit of affliction and agony.  

i know there was nothing more that jenni wanted than to succumb to her bed

wrestling, yet again, with what had just  happened.

but....

there was free food to comment on

and a dear friend we ran into that i HAD to meet.  

inside her apartment door, she let down the facade.

she collapsed on her place of refuge.  

bed!  

she was exhausted.....  

bruised and hurting from the fall.  

in my room,

my heart broke once again for my dear girl.

she tries hard.

but i see how hard it is for her to enter life

going on.... "as usual".

HER LIFE QUIT ON HER! 

nothing brings her pleasure for long.

the cry of her heart,

ALL she wants,

is to touch the hem of HIS garment

and be healed!  

EVERYTHING else is folly!  

every moment, living in this crisis-mode

has completely worn her out.

THEM out!  

ryan is in this as much as jenni!  

around 8:30-9:00 ryan made supper for her.

she needed to eat.  

as i laid down to sleep,

this old song of my youth came to mind. 

i could nearly hear skeeter davis bellowing out the words:

• why does the sun go on shining?
• why does the sea rush to shore?
• don't they know it's the end of the world?
• 
  
• why do the birds go on singing?
• why do the stars glow above?
• don't they know it's the end of the world?
• 
  
• i wake up in the morning and i wonder
• why every thing's the same as it was
• i can't understand, no, i can't understand
• how life goes on the way it does!
• 
  
• why does my heart go on beating?
• why do these eyes of mine cry?
• don't they know it's the end of the world?